Friday, January 13, 2012

Look At His Heart

We have all of these ideas about what a godly wife should be. Proverbs 31:10-31 is dedicated solely to defining a godly woman. And this is really great for men, if they are seeking a wife, and for women, as they prepare to fill that role. But my question is this: What does a godly man look like? And, I guess another question is: Is he husband material?

It seems as though this question is sometimes overlooked. Girls tend to rationalize when it comes to guys. We see a pretty/handsome face and think "Wow, I'm gonna marry him!" (Hopefully my family isn't the only one that does that!) But, my challenge for all of you girls out there (and guys, too. But, I'm aiming this more towards girls.) is: Look past his face and try to see his heart.

I was convicted of this during church last week. The sermon was about repentance, and to make a long story short, the preacher said this about how we are to change the way we see people:
"As Christians, we should look past all the exterior and see each person for who they truly are: Created in the image of God. No one is in any place to judge someone for who we think they are."

I thought this was great, because I've always loved the end of I Samuel 16:7~ "...for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

So, if God looks at the heart rather than the outward appearance, what does that mean I should do? An answer from Scripture is:

Ephesians 5:1-2~ Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

We are to imitate God as children. Isn't that a sweet comparison? You know how little girls play with baby dolls and treat them so special, as if they are real? Or how little boys will play with toy tool sets or walk around wearing Daddy's shoes? Children look up to their parents. They imitate them. As Christians, we are to look up to our Heavenly Father and imitate Him. It also says to walk in love. According to I John, God is love. Yet another reminder to imitate God. :)

So, that is my challenge. Look past the face. Now we can go into what a godly man actually looks like. Now, just as a reminder, all of the things that I ever write are my thoughts and beliefs that I have gathered from Scripture, myself. You may have different thoughts, and I encourage you to explore them and draw your own conclusions. I'd even love for you to share what you find with me! :)

  • First of all, a godly man should love the Lord with all his heart.
That is a command in Matthew 22:37. I, personally, believe that this is the most important standard that EVERY girl should have. If he doesn't love God, he CANNOT truly love you. Why do I say this? Because, like I said earlier, I John says over and over again that God is love. God is true love. Always. He demonstrated that love for us by sending His only Son to die for us (Romans 5:8.) It also says in I John 4:19 "We love because He first loved us." A man has to accept God's love first, and only then can he love others.
  • A godly man should be strong and growing in his faith.
There are several examples of godly men in the Bible, but I'll just talk about one: Abraham. Abraham was a godly man that followed the Lord completely by faith.
Romans 4:19-21~ Without becoming weak in faith he contemplated his own body, now as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old, and the deadness of Sarah's womb; yet, with repect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform.

Abraham is a good example of a man who was strong in his faith. I believe he is a great example for all men to follow.

I Corinthians 16:13~ Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.

This verse talks about standing firm in faith and being strong. :) You know what's interesting? The very next verse says "Let all that you do be done in love." Showing love to people is also a sign of strength.

Now, for a person to be growing in their faith, they must be in the Word daily. We are not meant to just pick up our Bibles on Sunday for church and then put it back on the shelf at home until the next week. We are not meant to just take our preacher's word for it when he preaches a sermon on any topic. We are supposed to read/study the Word daily for ourselves. We need to completely satiate ourselves with the Word.

Acts 17:11~ Now these were more nobleminded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.

Colossians 3:16~ Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in you hearts to God.

II Timothy 3:16-17~ All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.
I like that last verse. All Scripture is profitable, so that we may be adequate and equipped for every good work. It is sooo important to be in the Word, for this very reason!

Ephesians 6:10~ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.

If you go on through Ephesians 6:11-17, it explains exactly how to be strong in the Lord. It is all by, basically, staying in the Word! Amazing. :)

One last passage for this section:

Colossians 2:5-7~ For even though I am absent in body, nevertheless I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good discipline and the stability of your faith in Christ. Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude.

  • A godly man should be committed to the Lord. He will do the right thing, even when it's not convenient or easy.
I Thessalonians 2:1-2~ For you yourselves know, brethren, that our coming to you was not in vain, but after we had already suffered and been mistreated in Philippi, as you know, we had the boldness in our God to speak to you the gospel of God amid much opposition.

II Timothy 3:12~ Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.

These are examples of Paul being so committed that he would go through persecution and he still chooses to share the Word, preaching and teaching. An example that we should all follow. :)

  • A godly man should be a man of integrity. The definition of integrity is: honesty/truthfulness. He should be a man of his word. (To me, being honest also means being the same person no matter what crowd you're in. Being yourself no matter what.)
James 5:12~ But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath; but your yes is to be yes, and your no, no, so that you may not fall under judgment.

Psalm 25:21~ Let intregrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for You.

Proverbs 2:7-8~ He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice, and He preserves the way of His godly ones.

Proverbs 11:3~ The integrity of the upright will guide them, but the crookedness of the treacherous will desrtoy them.

Job was an example of a man with integrity. Job 2:3~ The Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man fearing God and turning away from evil. And he still holds fast his integrity, although you incited Me against him to ruin him without cause." Job stayed true to the Lord even after he lost everything!

  • A godly man should be devoted to prayer. He must be devoted to prayer, but also believe "For nothing will be impossible with God" (Luke 1:37.)
I Thessalonians 5:17-18~ ...pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

James 1:5-6~ But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.

Philippians 4:6~ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let you requests be made known to God.

  • A godly man must be a hard worker. In whatever the Lord may have you doing, work hard at it. Whether it's school, work, hobbies, or whatever... Work hard.
Colossians 3:23-24~ Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the ingeritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.

Ecclesiastes 9:10~ Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might....

Proverbs 14:23~ In all labor there is profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.

Ok, that was my very basic checklist of what a godly man should be. Those are the top characteristics on my list. But, I have several more verses to share that are also very important characteristics that I look at. These verses have a lot in them, and no one will ever be able to follow them all perfectly. But these are the things that all Christians should be striving for.

I Timothy 4:12~ Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe.

Titus 2:6-8~ Likewise urge the young men to be sensible; in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified, sound in speech which is beyong reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us.

Colossians 3:12-14~ So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.

Romans 12:9-21~ Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord. "But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

That's about all of the verses I'm going to use there.... I think. I want to touch on my idea of "husband material" for just a minute. Or two... Or more. These are just some things that you need to know before you marry someone. I believe that the most important things to know (after you know what a godly man is) are that:

  • Husbands MUST love their wives.
Ephesians 5:25~ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her...

Ephesians 5:28-30~ So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body.

  • Husbands should be able to "wash their wives in the Word." I believe this to mean that they should make sure that their wives are in the Word daily, they should constantly encourage their wives with Scripture, they should challenge their wives, and stimulate their minds to think about Scripture, in different ways.
Ephesians 5:26-27~ that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
  • Husbands should be able to lead, but not lord over their wives.
Ephesians 5:22-24~ Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

I Peter 3:7~ You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

Husbands should accept their role as the head of the family, only under Christ. And, they should not take advantage of this role by abusing their authority. Husbands should lead their family under the guidance of the Holy Spirit (John 14:26.) They should lead, alongside their wives, but also be able to make final decisions for their families.

  • Husbands MUST be able to provide for their families.
I Timothy 5:8~ But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

That's a pretty intense verse, right there!

  • Husbands should want to have and raise a godly family, walking in the Truth.
III John 4~ I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth.
  • And, last but certainly not least, husbands should know that when they get married (given that they marry a godly woman,) they are receiving a good thing.
Proverbs 18:22~ He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 19:14~ House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Proverbs 31:10~ An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.

Girls, you are priceless. You deserve a man that knows a good thing when he has it, and that treats you as such. No excuses. You are worth it. A man like this is worth waiting for.

The last passage that I'm going to share is out of I Corinthians 13. I'm going to share the definition of love. This is something that everyone needs to know, so that they will be able to recognize it.

I Corinthians 13:4-8~ Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.....

Thanks for reading all the way through this! I know it's long, and it took me forever to work on... And, I probably should have done a study on what a godly woman is first, but this came to my mind during the middle of the week, and I wanted to get it all down before I forgot! So, it is what it is. Please feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts. I would appreciate your encouragement or [constructive] criticism. :)


  1. Great Katherine! I loved it! Thanks for including both aspects of the relationship with the scriptures. Men & women both have very specific instructions from the Lord concerning marriage and both need to be studied and understood. Looking forward to more inspiration from you! Love, Miss Donna

  2. Thank you, Mrs. Donna! I will definitely be covering the definition of a godly woman sometime soon. :)

  3. Katherine, I'm not sure you remember me, I'm Izzy's mom from sewing class.

    What a beautiful job you did writing this. Coincidence (but is there really such a thing?) is that we did a parenting seminar in church this past weekend in which I led a class on being a godly woman.

    I poured over scripture after scripture to prepare and you have done an excellent job in your studying and writing.

    It will be a blessed man that receives you one day.

    I'm also very very proud of your decision to be a homemaker. You understand your role and know your worth and are brave enough to honor God in it.

    Blessings, dear Katherine.

  4. I do remember you! :)
    Thank you so much for the encouragement. I really appreciate that. :) That is really neat about the class that you led. My next post is actually going to be about godly womanhood. I would love to know what you taught in your class. It would probably be very helpful in my studying!
    Thank you, again!